Ponies (From the Future) - Part 2

Me: I'm going to throw the best party.

Daniel: For your pony?

Me: Obviously. We'll play party games.

Daniel: What kind of party games?

Me: Twister.

Daniel: WHAT?

Me: Twister is a good, fun party game.

Daniel: How is a pony going to play Twister? That's not even physically possible!

Me: I'll practice with him.

Daniel: No. It's not physically possible.

Me: He'll get it, don't worry.

Daniel: I don't think you get that it's not physically possible.

Me: My pony is going to be a Twister champion.

Daniel: Okay.

Me: You're just a pony hater.

Ponies (From the Future)

Me: You know what I want?

Daniel: What do you want?

Me: I want a pony.

Daniel: Why would you want a pony?

Me: Because it's a PONY...and I want to buy it a party hat.

Daniel: So you can pretend it's a unicorn...

Me: No. That's just ridiculous. It's so I can throw it a surprise party.

Daniel: Don't you think the pony will be suspicious when you subsequently buy it a party hat?

Me: Hmm...Okay. I can buy the pony and the party hat together but then throw the actual party months later. The pony won't suspect a thing.

Daniel: You're ridiculous.

Me: I don't understand why you're not taking this seriously. This is going to happen.

Daniel: Right.

Me: My future pony doesn't appreciate your skepticism.

Anemic Russians

According to Daniel, the Russian Army prepares soldiers for the horrors of war by putting them into a room and forcing them to wade in animal blood. What. The. Fuck? That is a ready-made script for a horror movie. Also, this next part is not exaggerated. I lied awake in bed for an hour before falling asleep last night because I thought a Russian commander was going to burst into my room and take me out for a 'swim'. My delicate mind isn't made to comprehend that kind of information.

Then when I woke up this morning, I searched 'Russian soldier blood swim' on Google to confirm the validity of this information. Except, now that I think about it, a Russian soldier blood swim sounds like an organized triathlon event aimed to raise awareness for anemic Russian veterans. Anyway, I did not find any results. Now I am currently under the impression that my boyfriend makes up horrific scenes for fun just to watch my sanity slowly disintegrate.

Edit: Daniel swears he did not make that up. I refuse to believe him until he comes back with some form of proof.

Edit: He found it.

Furry Friends and Lovers - They Are The Same

This is not to say my boyfriend leaves his pants everywhere. I don't pick up after him, and he is a reasonably clean human being. I am grateful for this. I cannot say the same for my cat. She leaves her pants everywhere.