Hugs Not Heroin, Cocaine, or Meth

Actually, I'm kidding. I'll gladly hand out hugs any time. Although, there was a period of time that spanned from late elementary school into middle school where I adamantly ran away from anybody who tried to hug me. It was probably the prepubescent angst brewing inside me. I've passed that stage though. I wasn't lying about me being really irritable when I'm hungry, however. That part's completely true, and anybody who's close enough to me can certainly vouch for that.

For non-huggers, I should have drawn porcupines, maces, and forest fires. Oh well. Next time.

Edit: I actually realized that my cartoon makes no sense, so ignore everything.

Paul Bettany the Vampire Slayer (of Sacramento)

Long time no blog! I spent the weekend in Sacramento with Daniel, and he took me to the Second Saturday Artwalk, which is essentially just a journey through numerous art galleries in midtown. As we walked to the Artwalk (try to wrap your brain around that one), we strolled through Capitol Park, and what I found there filled me with immense amounts of happiness.

It's a statue that looks exactly like Paul Bettany in Priest! Daniel disagrees and says it looks nothing like him, but come on. Just look at it. It's like a replica...but stonier. To be fair, neither of us have actually seen Priest, but I like to imagine that I'm right. 

Ponies (From the Future) - Part 2

Me: I'm going to throw the best party.

Daniel: For your pony?

Me: Obviously. We'll play party games.

Daniel: What kind of party games?

Me: Twister.

Daniel: WHAT?

Me: Twister is a good, fun party game.

Daniel: How is a pony going to play Twister? That's not even physically possible!

Me: I'll practice with him.

Daniel: No. It's not physically possible.

Me: He'll get it, don't worry.

Daniel: I don't think you get that it's not physically possible.

Me: My pony is going to be a Twister champion.

Daniel: Okay.

Me: You're just a pony hater.

Ponies (From the Future)

Me: You know what I want?

Daniel: What do you want?

Me: I want a pony.

Daniel: Why would you want a pony?

Me: Because it's a PONY...and I want to buy it a party hat.

Daniel: So you can pretend it's a unicorn...

Me: No. That's just ridiculous. It's so I can throw it a surprise party.

Daniel: Don't you think the pony will be suspicious when you subsequently buy it a party hat?

Me: Hmm...Okay. I can buy the pony and the party hat together but then throw the actual party months later. The pony won't suspect a thing.

Daniel: You're ridiculous.

Me: I don't understand why you're not taking this seriously. This is going to happen.

Daniel: Right.

Me: My future pony doesn't appreciate your skepticism.

We Hit the SWAT Team, and It's Hugh Laurie's Fault

Yesterday was a beautiful disaster. It was one of those days where nothing goes as planned and you end up crashing into an angry Asian couple's car amongst the busy streets in San Francisco. It was one of those days, and it all began with Hugh Laurie...

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass is a huge music festival that goes on in the Bay Area every year. I drove up to San Francisco with my friends, and that was our first destination for the day. I was excited out of my pants because Hugh Laurie was performing, and I wanted to ask him to diagnose me and/or go for some fish and chips. To our dismay, all the parking spots in the area were taken up by hipsters and hippies (and hippie hipsters?), which meant we had to leave before we even officially arrived. I was thoroughly disappointed. I had even practiced my British accent for an hour on the drive there.

Luckily, we had yet another place we wanted stop by: The Alternative Press Expo. Kate Beaton, the founder of Hark! A Vagrant, was going to be there. My new plan was to ask her to diagnose me and go out for fish and chips to make up for my former loss. We were making our way over to the Concourse Exhibition Center when we hit yet another roadblock. As we drove along, my friend, Jared, ended up rear-ending the car in front of us. The driver, a middle-aged Cantonese man, immediately jumped out of the car (that we just damaged) with a camera in hand and began to take pictures of the dent and our license plate. His wife, following his example, also got out of the car to take pictures of us, and it was a frightening experience for me. The SWAT team had closed in on us, but instead of it being the regular SWAT team, it was a SWAT team for vehicular accidents. It was terrifying, but we continued onward with our journey.

Finally, we made it to the expo. Everything was beautiful, and I wanted to sob, partially because I was surrounded by amazing artists, and partially because I knew I would never be on par with them. My day already improved upon stepping into the exhibition center due to the fact that I got a cool badge.

I know. You don't have to tell me how cool it is.

Yet we had not seen the end of the series of unfortunate events. About twenty minutes after we arrived, we discovered that Kate Beaton had left a few hours ago. Wallowing in even more disappointment, we wandered around the expo some more. The disappointment didn't last long because I was too enthralled by all the great art and fun people. Overall, I'm still happy with the way things turned out. I might not have gotten to harass Hugh Laurie or Kate Beaton, but I'll just have to leave that to another day.

Awesome Links:

Hark! A Vagrant 

Geeky Gloves & Goodies

Ben Walker Art

Rice-Boy

Fire Cider!

Stitchmind

Blizzard Entertainment Sucks

Unless you care about World of Warcraft (or gaming) in the least, I would skip this post because it's just me ranting about how their game developers are douchebags.

I got an e-mail from Blizzard Entertainment informing me that World of Warcraft is now free to play. To my dismay, I soon realized that I had been bamboozled. Here is the actual body of the e-mail:

If you look closely, it states that it is free to play up to level 20. This would be considerably neat IF they hadn't ALREADY been free to play up until level 20 before this. "Kat, if you're so frustrated about it, why don't you just pay to play?" Because I'm broke. That's why. To deal with this frustration, I wrote them an e-mail back, expressing my feelings on the subject:

I don't think they even read the e-mails in their newsletter inbox, but it was worth a try.

Anemic Russians

According to Daniel, the Russian Army prepares soldiers for the horrors of war by putting them into a room and forcing them to wade in animal blood. What. The. Fuck? That is a ready-made script for a horror movie. Also, this next part is not exaggerated. I lied awake in bed for an hour before falling asleep last night because I thought a Russian commander was going to burst into my room and take me out for a 'swim'. My delicate mind isn't made to comprehend that kind of information.

Then when I woke up this morning, I searched 'Russian soldier blood swim' on Google to confirm the validity of this information. Except, now that I think about it, a Russian soldier blood swim sounds like an organized triathlon event aimed to raise awareness for anemic Russian veterans. Anyway, I did not find any results. Now I am currently under the impression that my boyfriend makes up horrific scenes for fun just to watch my sanity slowly disintegrate.

Edit: Daniel swears he did not make that up. I refuse to believe him until he comes back with some form of proof.

Edit: He found it.